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Interpersonal Relations: Dealing with Athletes and Parents
Parents are an essential part of every program. In this era of constant fund raising they are vital to a program's success. If mutual respect is not established, boosters can become a double edged sword. From day one a coach must extoll the parent's importance to the program's ultimate success. Coaches at times underestimate the value and importance parental support lends to the success of the program. The key is open communication. From day one your athletes and their parents should know their place of importance in the pyramid of the success of your program. Coaches should think of themselves as salesmen. Successful salesmen sell themselves first and their products second. People buy you, then your product. Without a strong booster club most public school programs cannot flourish. An open door policy for athletes and parents alike must be established where they feel comfortable talking to the head coach. In many instances it is implied that parents are not to call, email or text the head coach. This is not a good policy parents want and expect the coach to a professional and act accordingly. After all, coaches are also faculty. Parents should feel comfortable communicating with coaches. All ideas pertaining to raising money or projects that improve facilities or promote team unity and cohesiveness should be enthusiastically pursued. Also areas of concern should be received in the same vain. Parents should however avoid advising coaches how to coach. Playing time is another area of concern for parents. At the first booster meeting addressing this issue will help facilitate a clearer understanding. Treat your team as you would a business. Make it known that the best players get the majority of the playing time. Make it understood that if this were a business you wouldn't have your backups servicing your most valuable customers. Make it known that backups will get to play under certain conditions. If they are successful then they too will have an equal opportunity for more playing time. When an athlete or his parent has a problem with a lack of playing time, that parent should advise their son or daughter to speak to the coach. The parent should not intervene. Teaching young people to speak up and defend themselves is a valuable life skill. Coaches should constantly talk to all their players and let them know where they stand. This open policy will help nip problems in the bud. Coaches can facilitate an aura of openness by professing their honesty and encouraging their athletes to come and talk if they have questions about their playing time or other concerns. Yelling and screaming have no place and in today's environment. If you were running a business yelling and screaming in the work place is not tolerated. Constructive criticism at the appropriate time is always a wiser alternative. Instead of the yelling and screaming consider doing a better job of teaching and preparing your team. Parents want their offspring to have a positive learning experience in an environment conducive to learning. They gladly accept coaches and educators who make their students work hard toward improvement. They will not accept belittling or embarrassment under any circumstances. Coaching should be more about building relationships and less about building resumes. Many young coaches fail to understand the power and ill effect that their harsh words resonate with young athletes and the lasting effects those words may cause. Coaches should enjoy their athletes and care about them. Not just the stars but the reserves as well. A genuine care and concern for your team will be reciprocated by the team. Relationships are what coaching is all about. Making your players and their parents genuinely feel important is vital to the success of your program. After all it is their team not yours. Too many coaches make the mistake of stating that the team, the field the facility and the program is theirs. It is not. You are privileged to be the head coach. When players are constantly affirmed of their importance to the program and believe in that affirmation greatness permeates through the program. Coaches should be revered not feared. The two most important constants in life are respect and memorability. When it is all said and done all that matters is were you respected and memorable to others? Don't worry about what you make or made, worry whether or not you made a difference. Bio: Marty Berson has been coaching for over 54 years. He has been a head coach or manager on every level including the Independent professional level. In his vast career he has had the privilege of coaching numerous major leaguers. He has won over 700 games on the varsity level and 200 on the lower levels with numerous championships on both levels. For the past three years he has been the lower level coordinator at El Dorado High in Placentia, Ca. where he serves as the head JV coach. His past three teams at El Dorado have won two championships. The bulk of his career 26 years, was spent at Santa Monica College as professor/Head baseball coach where he is the all-time career leader in wins with 300 {14 seasons}. He is beginning his fourth season at El Dorado where his team is the defending league champion. He has also published over 30 articles over the years and continues to write today.
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