What May Matter Most Is What You Do Not SAY or Do Not DO

By: Adam Sarancik

Author of: Coaching Champions for Life

"Players will likely forget what you said and what you did, but they will not likely forget how you made them feel."

Great coaching takes an incredible amount of time, thought, planning, organization, education, training and experience. All of these things ultimately lead to very detailed practice and game plans which result in formative instruction, leadership and mentorship. Throughout this process, of course, coaches say and do many impactful things, some very helpful and wise, some not. But coaches should not overlook and underestimate the power and value of what they don't say and do not do.

I think most coaches say and do too much.

Coaches wonder frequently why the performance of their teams in games does not match what they were taught in practice. And yet from the moment the players step on the field or court, coaches are constantly talking at them. Not enough time is spent listening to the players to connect with and understand them as people; what they are thinking in the moment and what is happening with them outside of the sport.

This relationship is the essential foundation for all learning and development. Coaches are so quick to analyze and correct the good or bad result of a play they fail to first address the player's deficiencies in athleticism, physiology or psychology. The development of a player's mechanics may first require improving the stability and mobility of their body or their mental approach to the situation.

If coaches want to see more consistency in the way their teams perform at practice and the way the team plays in games, they need to end every practice with a game simulation or scrimmage where the coaches say and do absolutely nothing. They need to simply observe what the players have learned because despite the coach's unfortunate efforts to micromanage every thought and step of their players during games, the outcome will still ultimately depend on what the players do on their own.

The same is true for the self-esteem of the players. If our goal as coaches is to develop strong leaders for the world not just players for the court or field, the players will feel best about their play in the game and its ultimate result if they know they accomplished it on their own and not as a result of being puppets. I think if coaches would spend a few hours in school attending the math and science classes of their players, they would be amazed at what the players are required to learn and what they are capable of remembering. Coaches would cut the puppet strings for their players. They would trust their training and let the players play.

Finally, every single day, slow down and appreciate how precious these moments are with your players. Coaches, remember always that in the minds and hearts of your players, the look on your face, the language of your body and the tone of your voice, in the short term, may dictate the result of how your players play and what your players comprehend more than anything you actually say or do and, in the long-term, may dictate what the player chooses to remember as their experience playing for you.

Dads, grandfathers, moms and grandmothers who coach their sons, grandsons, daughters and granddaughters should say much less about the game and just recognize and acknowledge the courage it takes for their loved ones to simply step on to the stage with all-the-world watching to try to do things that are almost impossible to do generally, and are certainly not possible, in their minds, to do well enough to meet your standards and expectations.

The sounds of the gymnasium or stadium and game, the smell of the air and grass, the feel of a ball in your hand, the innocent faces of your players; they will all be gone more quickly than you will ever imagine. Fill these precious moments in coaching with many more smiles, hugs, handshakes, thumbs up and laughter, and much less with all of the other things you think are so important to win the game.

When all is said and done, it will be what you did not say and did not do that you and your players will remember.

Adam Sarancik is the author of three Amazon Top 100 Best Selling books: