Own Your Story [NIAAA]

By: Jason Parker, J.D., CMAA - Muskogee Public Schools (OK)

“Know thyself and to thine own self be true.” - Shakespeare

To be our best as leaders it is important that we know ourselves. Knowing yourself refers to putting time towards analyzing your background and identifying the meaning behind our T.E.S.T.S (Talents, Experiences, Skills, Traits, Resources). Examining our T.E.S.T.S, no pun intended, can offer valuable insight into our past which will unlock doors in our future and ultimately enable us to optimize our leadership.

One thing I encourage all leaders to do during this time of shelter-in place initiatives with more idle-time available, that is, if you have not become homeschool teacher & principal, is to begin to know your story. Knowing your story, and eventually owning it, will not only guide you in knowing yourself but also develop some critical skills that will aid you as a leader and high achiever.

Why Own Your Story?

Owning your story will make you keenly aware of what sets you apart. Knowing what sets you apart is key for overcoming any challenges you may face. Much like a superhero knowing what superpowers to employ to defeat a foe. Also, owning your story will tell you where to focus your energy. High performers are focused and guided by their strengths. Usually because they have analyzed their T.E.S.T.S and have identified where their talents are best used. Could you imagine Steph Curry as a restauranteur or Tom Brady as a fireman? Great professions but not the best use of their unique giftings. Thirdly, owning your story will make you adept at selling yourself. This is vital to establishing meaningful connections which will open doors for you. Whether you are interviewing, seeking promotion, or getting others to believe in your idea, strong bonds will help your cause. Sharing your story will let others know more about you in a way that is easily packaged for them to remember you.

How to Guide

To own your story set aside uninterrupted time to focus on your past. This will seem strange at first, but like a therapy session, with practice, you will eventually begin to open up. The following are some guiding steps to help you find what matters.

Step 1: Be Inquisitive

1. What have been the three most difficult moments in your life?
2. Are these moments connected by cause and effect?
3. Is there an underlying theme or reason to these challenges?
4. How have these difficulties changed you for the better?

Step 2: Make it Narrative

1. Make It Novel - our minds are auto-triggered by new and novel. Implement elements of your story which cause it to stand out. Stats & numbers (number of wins, GPA, etc.) turn the brain off, emotions and difficult circumstances cause intrigue. Place the leader in your emotional state when you were at the darkest point in your challenge.
2. Make It Narrative - pull out themes and put it in story format. Rather than rattling off a list of previous positions held, lead with lessons learned at each stop. This is much more memorable.
3. Make It Up - This just got fun! No, I am not suggesting you employ falsities, but make it up refers to applying makeup to blemishes or the ugly parts of your story which take away from the narrative. In other words, do not be too detail specific in a way that interrupts the flow. These details can be better outlined in your resume or later in the process of an interview or developing a relationship.

Step 3: Own It

1. Know It Inside and Out - know how to apply your story in a variety of contexts. This may entail using parts of your story for specific groups or situations. Portions of my story allow me to connect with students while other parts really speak to parents. Knowing my story so well that I can apply it to a variety of contexts makes a difference.
2. Create Value - you earned your story now go out and use it in a way that creates value for yourself and others. Never forget that the human brain learns best through stories that trigger emotion. Sharing these stories not only help others to know you better, but also could help others overcome challenges that they are facing. This is an important tool that every leader should have.