By: Rainer Martens & Robin S. Vealey

Originally Published in: Successful Coaching

Many coaches find that the most challenging relationship to manage is their relationship with their athletes' parents. This includes guardians, but we will use the term parents to represent both here. Some parents are completely apathetic to their child's participation in sports. Others are overly involved and become overbearing, both with the coach and with their child.

You need to foster appropriate involvement by giving parents clear guidelines on their roles and your expectations of them. In turn, you need to remember that parents are ultimately responsible for their children, and most desire only the best for them. Respect their ultimate responsibility for the well-being of their children by not being threatened when parents inquire about their athlete's participation.

Parents, in turn, need to respect your position. They should not interfere with your coaching unless there is reasonable cause for them to suspect that their child is being exposed to unnecessary physical or psychological risk or is being treated unfairly.

Your relationship with your athletes' parents is almost as important as the relationships you have with the athletes themselves. With a little effort, you can have parents working with you and appreciating your efforts. The key is informing them about your program and listening to their concerns. Many of the traditional problems between parents and coaches can be avoided when coaches hold a preseason parent orientation program, and then communicate clearly with them throughout the season.

Parent (and Guardian) Orientation Program

The purpose of the preseason orientation is to do the following:

• Allow parents to become acquainted with you and your assistants and to learn your coaching philosophy and objectives.
• Inform parents about the nature of the sport and its potential risks.
• Explain to parents the team policies and procedures.
• Let parents know what is expected of the athletes and of them.
• Let parents express their own concerns.
• Obtain help from parents in conducting the season's activities.

When should the meeting be held?
If you have selected your team, schedule the meeting before the team begins practicing; if not, hold the meeting as soon as possible after you've selected your team. Choose a time when most parents can attend, and invite them individually by phone, personal letter, or email.

How long should the meeting be?
We recommend a meeting of about an hour, and no more than 75 minutes. Parents may have additional questions that they can ask of you afterward.

Should the athletes attend the meeting?
You can decide what works best for you. Some think that the presence of athletes inhibits the communication between the coach and parents, whereas others believe that having the athletes present promotes communication among everyone involved. Your coaching philosophy should help you make this decision. We think it's a good idea for athletes to attend.

During the Season

After the preseason meeting, continue to communicate with parents as needed. Here are suggestions for communicating with them throughout the season:

• Keep parents informed by email, a communication app, a blog, or through social media, and encourage them to communicate with you when they have concerns or information of value.
• Involve parents constructively. They can fill many of the support roles outlined earlier.
• Inform parents directly and immediately if a serious problem arises involving their athlete (injury, theft, drugs, ineligibility, or other disciplinary action).
• Not all parents will care about their child's participation, nor will they all respond as you would hope, but you still have a duty to inform them and request their help.

Postseason

At the end of the season, invite each parent to evaluate you and the program. Ask them to point out things that went well and to suggest what might be improved. You can find a Postseason Parent Evaluation Form online on HKPropel. Give copies to all parents and ask them to return them to you. Their feedback can help you become a better coach.

Tervel Dlagnev was previously a coach at Ohio State Univ.