By: Rainer Martens and Robin S. Vealey

Originally Published in: Successful Coaching

Provided by: Human Kinetics

The very nature of sport—the potential for injustice and for physical and mental injury—increases the likelihood of coaches experiencing anger. Anger is a completely normal emotion that we all experience, but we have a choice in how we respond to it. We can be out of control and respond destructively, or we can be in control and respond constructively.

Coaches are most often angered when they perceive injustice to themselves or their team. Anger is often directed toward officials because they are the judges and juries of sport. Anger also arises when coaches perceive an intent to injure their athletes or themselves physically or mentally by demonstrating disrespect through insults and humiliation tactics. Coaches also experience anger when their autonomy and personal space are invaded or their self-worth and integrity are threatened.

When you experience anger, you can respond in one of the following three ways:

1. Spontaneously and destructively
2. Purposefully and destructively
3. Purposefully and constructively

Spontaneous and destructive anger often takes the form of yelling, swearing, pushing and hitting, or more serious violence. Of course, nothing constructive comes from expressing such rage. It destroys your credibility and damages relationships, and it's a poor model of behavior for your athletes and others who observe such behavior.

Another way to respond to anger is to be in control of yourself but to engage in destructive behavior. With what may best be termed hostility, you may choose to make condescending remarks or use sarcasm, put-downs, and hurtful humor to retaliate. This form of anger focuses on revenge by hurting those who angered you.

Of course, the optimal choice is to respond to your anger in a purposeful and constructive way. Consider these points:

• Anger is a common and appropriate emotion in some situations. How you respond to this emotion is under your control. You can choose to respond constructively or destructively.
• Learn what triggers your anger. Avoid those situations, if that's a reasonable choice, or prepare yourself mentally to respond more constructively to these triggers.
• Change the way you think. You may think that you should always be treated fairly, maybe even a little more fairly than others, and that it's awful and terrible if you or your team is treated unfairly. Change that thinking by recognizing that destructive anger achieves nothing positive! Use logic to defeat your angry emotions. Remind yourself that the world is not always fair, you do not always get your way. Accept frustration and disappointment; don't let them turn to anger.
• Problem-solve. Feeling angry is appropriate and healthy under certain circumstances. Rather than respond destructively, identify ways you can solve the problem constructively.

If anger is a serious problem for you, perhaps damaging your relationships with family and friends or holding you back in your career, a clinical mental health professional could be helpful to you.

Originally Published in: The Leadership Playbook

One person can have such a strong effect on the world such as Martin Luther King, Bill Gates, Steve Jobs, Michael Jordan, and Mother Teresa. In the same way, one player can have a strong influence on a team. You never know what kind of result your actions can have. You might not be able to do everything, but you can do something. Your something might be just what is needed to begin changing things for the better. Gandhi said, "Be the change you want to see in the world." There is no telling what can be accomplished when you decide to use your influence in a positive way.

It is like the butterfly effect, which was first theorized by Edwin Lorenz in 1963 to help explain weather patterns and chaos theory. It states that one small change can result in a large change later on. For instance, a tornado in Texas might have been caused by a series of weather events that all started off with a butterfly flapping its wings in a Brazilian rain forest. The butterfly didn't power the tornado. The flapping of its wings was just the beginning of a chain reaction.

One thing happened which leads to another thing happening which leads to another thing happening. If the butterfly hadn't flapped its wings at that exact time, then the weather system might have been different. Here is one such example that Larry Gallegos points out on his Mortgage Cicerone blog. This story highlights a chain reaction of events that changed history,

One day in the countryside of Scotland, a common and poor farmer was toiling in his field when suddenly he heard a cry for help. Startled, he recognized someone was in trouble and the plea was coming from a nearby bog. Immediately he dropped what he was doing and ran to the source of the plea. When he located the voice calling for help, he stumbled upon a terrified boy up to his waist in black muck, screaming and sinking deeper and deeper into the bog as each minute passed.

The farmer calmly retrieved ropes from nearby, pulled the boy out of the bog and saved his life.

The next day, an elegantly dressed nobleman arrived at the farmer's small and simple home. When the nobleman stepped out of his carriage, he introduced himself as the father of the boy the farmer had saved.

Emotionally, the nobleman thanked the farmer and asked to repay the farmer for saving his son's life. The farmer waved off the offer and informed the nobleman he could not accept payment for doing what was right.

At that moment, the nobleman asked if the farmer had a son in which the farmer replied he did. Subsequently, the nobleman insisted he provide the farmer's son an education on par with that he would provide his own son. Upon leaving the farmer's house, the nobleman told the farmer, "if the lad is anything like his father, he'll no doubt grow to be a man we both will be proud of."

The nobleman's prediction concerning the farmer's son proved to be prophetic.

True to the nobleman's word, the farmer's son attended the best schools in the world and eventually graduated from St. Mary's Hospital Medical School in London. More importantly, he went on to become known throughout the world as the noted Sir Alexander Fleming, the discoverer of Penicillin.

Years afterward, the same nobleman's son who was saved from the bog was stricken with pneumonia.

What saved his life this time? Penicillin.

The name of the nobleman? Lord Randolph Churchill

His son's name? Sir Winston Churchill, the great British Prime Minister who saved England from being taken over by Nazi Germany and Adolf Hitler.

Small things can make a difference. Everything that we do matters. A well-placed smile or much needed encouraging word might brighten someone's day to the extent that they treat someone else better. We can make a difference in the world and on our teams just by being the change agent and starting a chain reaction of positivity.

Paige Parker was previously a coach at Univ. of Utah.