By: Kevin M. Bryant, CMAA

Many times, in my 35-year career in college and high school athletic administration I have heard coaches share their frustrations about their athletic director. While I would like to think that I was immune from such conversations, I know there were coaches on my various staffs that had varying degrees of appreciation, respect, and positive feelings about me personally and our work together. I can honestly say that I tried to be and do my best each day for each of my staff but that does not mean that every coach received everything they needed from me, despite my best efforts. Like you coaches, often despite your many sacrifices, late nights, early mornings, off-season work, fundraising, parent issues, not every student-athlete would say you were a positive and impactful person in their lives. That is not easy to live with at the end of the day. Our goals as coaches and ADs are to be the best teammates we can be to serve our student-athletes and communities. What follows are a few thoughts from one AD's perspective as to how YOU can make the coach-AD relationship the best possible.

• Start with unconditional warm regard. As we are often encouraged to do with our assistant coaches, parents, and student-athletes, despite past incidents, approach the AD-Coach relationship with Unconditional Warm Regard for your AD. Both AD/Coaches are under tremendous stress daily. With so much going on we can assume the worst about the AD vs. the best. ADs need to grow and be better, seems like the AD takes a growth mindset toward their jobs, they have a chance to grow every day with complexity they face. Give your AD room to grow and do not assume the worst when something goes awry. Start here as you work with your AD.
• Details matter. As you share with your team(s) you have expectations of what it means to be a GREAT teammate. I always communicated and deeply felt that my coaching STAFF was my team. I was the head coach so to speak. We often get myopic, my sport, my facility etc. An AD sometimes has 70-100 coaches and 20 plus sports to manage. Be on time with your requested items. Whatever it might be. When asked to do something related to information and details take care of it. This builds trust and respect between you and the AD. Remember the phrase, poor planning on your part does not make it an emergency on mine. Be on top of the details of your program.
• True friends stab each other in the front! Great relationships are not just the job of the AD; relationships are a two-way street. If you have a frustration with your AD do not share it with everyone but the AD. In fact, if you want a GREAT relationship with your AD it should begin and end with your AD. Nobody else needs to know. You are just as responsible for the climate and culture of our athletic department as the AD. Again, if you want your athletes to act this way, you are the model of confidence and trust to them.
• Treat your AD like a teammate. I loved it every time I was invited to a team meal, post-game meeting, coaches meeting, celebration, birthday party, pre-season BBQ etc. Does not mean your AD can make it to all, but I was always honored to be asked and included. My constant goal as HS AD was to make it to as many games, home and away in every sport as humanly possible. That was one way I could visibly thank my coaches, was by showing up. When your AD shows up thank him or her for coming. Lastly, I love gear like any sport related person. Your coaching shirt, sweatshirt, tee shirt, hat etc. I LOVED. Another example of how you treat your AD like a teammate.
• Work through the fact that you have a boss. As humans we often push back against leadership in our lives. We have a million reasons for this, he/she (AD) did this, or did not do this etc. so you allow that to become a barrier ( See 'Unconditional Warm Regard' above). My world view tells me (and I see it every day) I am selfish and self-centered to the core of my being. That is called being ethnocentric or thinking I am the center of my own universe. You as a coach are heroic in my mind because every day you are doing your best to form a team from selfish and self-centered student-athletes. That is heroic, challenging and worth our best efforts each day. Drop your guard, and be teachable, humble, and be willing to be led. Your athletes are watching you to see, do you DO what you tell us to do in your own life?
• Say thank you. Kevin Hoffman in CAD magazine in June 2018 authored an article titled "Dear ADs: Show appreciation for your coaches". Basically, he said coaches are looking for respect and appreciation from their ADs. Guess what, ADs are looking for the same thing in return from their coaching staff. It does not take much effort to take a moment, and thank an AD for their work on your behalf, and that of your coaching staff, program, and student-athletes. Time spent on HS athletics is not a contest between the AD and you as coaches. But it is easy to head toward, "my AD has no idea how much time, effort, money I put into this program etc." I would say in return, unless coaches have sat in the HS AD chair you have no idea about the other side of the equation either. Find ways to appreciate each other is not just an AD responsibility.
• Culture is how we think, act, and interact. It might appear that the AD is solely responsible for the athletic culture at your school, however, the AD cannot help to create vision or energy around the athletic program without your investment in it. As coaches you are the ones who are living out the athletic culture in the lives of your assistant coaches and student-athletes. As you have said many times to your own athletes, attitudes are contagious, is yours worth catching? Be someone who is a true believer in your athletic culture and you are a constant example of living into the culture.
• Unasked for advice always comes across as criticism. A good friend of mine gave me this "advice" years ago and it has helped me enormously with my own 30-something children, my wife, and close friends. I try to live this out every day. If you want feedback, ask for it from your AD. Let them on the inside of your joys, frustrations, and desire to improve. Your willingness to share what is going on inside of you is a gift. I ALWAYS came away with great appreciation and thankfulness for my coaches from these conversations. Even if the information shared with me was how I could be and do better.
• Deal correctly with your expectations of your AD. Unmet expectations often result in either anger or depression. We are disappointed that what we thought was going to happen did not. We know this intrinsically from all of our working relationships, family, friends etc. Expectations need to be agreed upon to have a basis to accomplish them or live them out. You and I really have no basis for either anger or depression over unmet expectations if we have not communicated them and have agreement on them. Check yourself before you get angry or down about things related to your AD if you have not done this. As you become better at communicating your expectations you might be surprised by the results of that work with your AD.
• Character is more than a word. If we were able to get everyone reading this in a room and brought up words like character, sportsmanship, and leadership as the words were mentioned we would see "bobble heading" take place around the room as each person acknowledged these words as they connect to sport. However, nearly every person would have a differing definition of these words. Sport participation does not teach Character just by participating like some kind of osmosis. The research shows that the higher one goes in athletic participation the less morally developed they become, because winning becomes the highest value. Former UCLA basketball coach, John Wooden's college basketball coach was asked how his team would be that year, he said in response, "Ask me in 20 years." My hope for each of you is that 20 years from now your former athletes will remember far more than just the technique and tactics of sport. However, they will not unless you make sure you teach it just like you teach sport skills, intentionally. Character has two parts: Performance character (be on time, work ethic, teamwork, sacrifice, resilience) and Moral Character (Honesty, Justice, Respect, Responsibility and Love). You know how you teach sport skills: demonstrate fundamentals and then correct repetitions toward automation. This will happen with character too if you decide that you want to teach values intentionally like you do with technique and tactic of sport.

This work we are all about is exciting and potentially life-changing for those you are coaching. You and your AD can be powerful allies in this joint pursuit of impacting high school student-athletes. Perhaps one or two of the ideas mentioned in this article will help you to develop a deeper and more meaningful relationship with your AD. I certainly hope it does, thank you for your daily work and passion around sport and student-athletes. Each one of you have enormous potential to be a person of lifelong impact in the lives of others.

"Sport has the power to change the world. It has the power to inspire; it has the power to unite people in a way that little else does. It speaks to youth in a language they understand. Sport can create hope, where once there was only despair. It is more powerful than governments in breaking down racial barriers. It laughs in the face of all types of discrimination."
Nelson Mandela, 2000

About the Author

Kevin Bryant, CMAA, is an adjunct professor at Pacific University (Forest Grove, OR.) in Sport Leadership and Management (SLAM). Pacific is an NCAA D-III school. Bryant was named Athletic Director of the Year twice in the State of Oregon (2005, 2020) and has received two national awards from the NIAAA and NFHS for his work on a local, regional, and national level in high school athletics. Bryant is married to Sara for the past 43 years, is the father of three children now in their thirties and he and Sara have enjoyed their two grandchildren, Oliver 9 ½ and Blythe 6 ½. Besides loving his SLAM students, he is an avid Spin Biker and Pickleball lover. He can be reached at brya6641@pacificu.edu.

  ]]> https://coachesinsider.com/lacrosse/how-coaches-can-develop-an-outstanding-working-relationship-with-your-ad-5/feed/ 0 122722 https://coachesinsider.com/lacrosse/leaders-must-be-great-communicators-with-robert-grasso-la-jolla-country-day-school-ca-9/ https://coachesinsider.com/lacrosse/leaders-must-be-great-communicators-with-robert-grasso-la-jolla-country-day-school-ca-9/#respond Tue, 09 Sep 2025 12:40:30 +0000 https://coachesinsider.com/?p=115684 Watch as Robert Grasso explains his philosophy of leadership on how athletes must be great communicators. They must be able to communicate with teammates as well as the coaches. He stresses that team leaders should know the names of every player and explains the impact this will have on teammates. Robert also wants team leaders to look for opportunities to praise their teammates for doing things well. Shout praise and whisper criticism.

By: Greta Jarvis, MS, MPH,

Founder of: Center for Active Women

It was around sophomore year of high school when my classmates, teammates, and friends started restricting their eating: the Flat Belly Diet, the Cabbage Soup Diet, MyFitnessPal, and the like. Eventually, this felt normal, expected, and just part of being a disciplined, competitive athlete.

When I returned to my high school over ten years later – this time, as a coach – it's easy to see that, unfortunately, not much has changed. Coaches are still not trained on how to discuss sports nutrition with their teams, and athletes still experience stress around what, when, and how much to eat. With most of my high schoolers on social media, nutrition misinformation and confusion abound.

The conversation around how we can better support our athletes nutritionally is vast (I spent years studying this as a graduate student and have dedicated my career to serving this population!), but understanding one core concept is a valuable first step.

Relative Energy Deficiency in Sport (REDs) occurs when someone is not eating enough to meet their body's needs. This impacts a shockingly high number of athletes:

• The International Olympic Committee estimates that 23% to 80% of female athletes and 15% to 70% of male athletes experience REDs, crediting the wide range of statistics to the different ways researchers measure and categorize under-eating (Mountjoy et al., 2023)
• Another team of researchers reviewed the literature to identify 63% of athletes as at risk for REDs (Gallant et al., 2024).

This condition touches every sport, every team, and every school, but most coaches, athletic directors, athletes, and even healthcare practitioners remain unaware of this condition and its devastating impacts on body, mind, and performance (Gallant et al., 2024; Mountjoy et al., 2023). Prevention and education are two of our most powerful tools – and we need all hands on deck.

You don't need advanced nutrition training here. Start by recognizing your role as a leader who helps define the culture and norms in your community. Encourage your athletes to speak kindly about their bodies and to think about food as a valuable teammate rather than an opponent to fear. Remind them that our bodies require a lot of food, every day, to function – especially as an athlete. Our beating hearts and expanding lungs require calories. Adolescent athletes require calories for appropriate development and growth. Even digesting food and regulating body temperature require calories!

Many athletes fear "eating too much," but make sure your athletes are aware of the very real (and very common) risks of not eating enough. The International Olympic Committee outlines the effects of REDs into two categories: health and performance. You can read their full consensus statement for a deeper dive, but here are some signs and symptoms that we commonly see:

Health:

• Compromised bone density (recurring stress fractures are common here!)
• Irregular or absent menstrual cycles
• Gastrointestinal distress
• Urinary incontinence
• Mental health challenges
• Sleep disturbances

Performance:

• Reduced power and endurance
• Reduced motivation and focus
• Reduced coordination and concentration
• Reduced muscle strength

The truth is that no number of "superfoods" can override the negative impacts of under-eating. Not eating enough, whether from intentional restriction or just not understanding how much food our body really needs, holds far too many athletes back from reaching their full potential. When we – as coaches and athletic directors – better understand the signs and symptoms of REDs, we are better positioned to protect our athletes from under-eating and identify when someone may need further support. Our athletes deserve nothing less.

About the Author:

Greta Jarvis, MS, MPH holds her Master of Public Health in Health Promotion and Master of Science in Nutrition, as well as certifications as an Intuitive Eating Counselor and Integrative Health Coach.

As the founder of the Center for Active Women, the heart of Greta's work is supporting women and girls in building peaceful and confident relationships with food, body, and movement. From customized workshops, classes, and lectures to one-on-one coaching and consultation, she equips students, parents, coaches, teachers, athletes, schools, teams, and organizations to navigate and prevent the all-too-common realities of under-eating, disordered eating, body image disturbances, and hormonal imbalances. This work fills a gaping hole causing women and girls lifelong, preventable harm.

Connect with Greta and learn more at Center for Active Women

Citations:

Gallant, T.L., Ong, L.F., Wong, L. et al. Low Energy Availability and Relative Energy Deficiency in Sport: A Systematic Review and Meta-analysis. Sports Med 55, 325–339 (2025). https://doi.org/10.1007/s40279-024-02130-0

Mountjoy, M., Ackerman, K. E., Bailey, D. M., Burke, L. M., Constantini, N., Hackney, A. C., Heikura, I. A., Melin, A., Pensgaard, A. M., Stellingwerff, T., Sundgot-Borgen, J. K., Torstveit, M. K., Jacobsen, A. U., Verhagen, E., Budgett, R., Engebretsen, L., & Erdener, U. (2023). 2023 International Olympic Committee's (IOC) consensus statement on Relative Energy Deficiency in sport (REDs). British Journal of Sports Medicine, 57(17), 1073–1098. https://doi.org/10.1136/bjsports-2023-106994

By: Scott Garvis, CMAA

Provided By: NHSACA

As a coach, it's essential to support students who come from struggling homes. These kids may face various challenges, and coaches can play a vital role in providing them with a positive and supportive athletic experience. Here's a list of strategies to help coaches coach kids from such backgrounds:

1. Build Trust and Rapport: Coaches should invest time in building trust and positive relationships with each child. Make an effort to understand their backgrounds and unique circumstances.
2. Effective Communication: Ensure that coaches communicate clearly and listen attentively. Kids from struggling homes might have communication challenges, and coaches should be patient and empathetic.
3. Set Realistic Goals: Help coaches establish achievable goals for each child. These goals should be based on the child's abilities and circumstances, with a focus on improvement rather than winning.
4. Flexible Scheduling: Recognize that kids from struggling homes might have irregular schedules due to family commitments. Coaches should be flexible and accommodating when it comes to practice times and game schedules.
5. Financial Assistance: Work to provide scholarships or financial assistance for registration fees, equipment, and uniforms to ensure that all children have equal access to sports.
6. Provide Transportation: If possible, arrange transportation or carpooling options to help kids get to practices and games, especially if they lack reliable transportation.
7. Mentorship Programs: Implement mentorship programs where experienced athletes or coaches can provide additional support and guidance to kids facing challenges at home.
8. Safe and Inclusive Environment: Create a welcoming, inclusive, and safe environment for all athletes. Encourage coaches to address bullying or discrimination promptly.
9. Counseling Resources: Partner with local counseling services or therapists who can provide support to children who may be dealing with emotional or psychological challenges.
10. Nutrition and Hydration: Educate coaches on the importance of proper nutrition and hydration, especially for children who may have limited access to healthy meals at home.
11. Educational Support: Encourage coaches to monitor and support the academic progress of the athletes. Offer tutoring or study sessions if needed.
12. Positive Reinforcement: Emphasize the importance of positive reinforcement and constructive feedback. Coaches should focus on celebrating achievements, no matter how small.
13. Community Involvement: Engage the community in supporting these athletes. This can include local businesses providing sponsorships or volunteers helping with events and fundraisers.
14. Emphasize Character Development: Coaches should prioritize teaching values such as discipline, teamwork, responsibility, and resilience. These life skills can be especially beneficial for children facing adversity.
15. Regular Check-Ins: Coaches should regularly check in with the kids individually to understand their needs, challenges, and personal goals.
16. Family Engagement: Encourage coaches to involve parents or guardians as much as possible, considering the family's situation. This can help build a support network for the child.
17. Conflict Resolution Skills: Train coaches in conflict resolution techniques to help kids handle challenges both on and off the field.
18. Access to Resources: Provide coaches with information on local resources, such as food banks, housing assistance, and healthcare services, which may be useful for the athletes' families.

Remember that your role as a coach plays a significant role in the lives of young athletes, and by implementing these strategies, you can make a positive impact on the children coming from struggling homes. Additionally, coaches should remain empathetic, patient, and supportive, as they can be influential mentors and role models for these kids.

Learn more about Randy here: FoxPoint.Net.

By: David T. Morris

Author of: Student Athletes: Control Your Own Destiny

NIL is an exciting opportunity for both college and high school athletes, but before you dive into name, image, and likeness deals as a high school student, there are some important things to keep in mind. It's a good idea to start preparing early and understand how NIL could impact your path to college.

1. State NIL rules: Each state has its own NIL regulations, so what's allowed in one state may not be the same in another.
2. High school NIL rules: Though the NCAA permits high school student-athletes to monetize their NIL, check with your high school or sports association's rules to avoid violations.
3. Colleges and conference-specific NIL rules: In college, you'll also need to be aware of what your college or conference allows for NIL, not just the state law.
4. Know your risks: Engaging in NIL activities without considering the rules set by your state or high school sports association could jeopardize your eligibility to play college sports.
5. Prioritize school and sports: Keep up with your grades and improve your skills for college-level competition—this boosts both your college prospects and future NIL opportunities.
6. Seek guidance: Ask current college student-athletes for advice on name, image and likeness. They can connect you with NIL professionals and help you make smart choices! You can also explore the option of consulting with financial management experts, listening to industry-leading podcasts and attending NIL workshops.
7. Build your online presence: Even if you don't plan to engage in NIL deals in high school, begin building your online presence on social media. Sharing your journey and interests can help college coaches know you better for recruiting and set the stage for future NIL opportunities.
8. Stay informed: NIL rules and regulations are constantly changing as states, schools, and conferences assess their impact on athletes. Staying up-to-date on these developments and trends will help you make informed decisions during your high school and college journey.

To understand your NIL rights, regularly check the following sources:

• College/Universities and Conferences you are interested in
• https://www.ncsasports.org/name-image-likeness

By: Chris Szabo - Rewild Coaching and Consulting

After a Tough Loss for student-athletes, the aftermath of a tough loss can be emotionally challenging, especially when the pressure to perform is amplified online. Social media provides an outlet for fans, friends, and anonymous users to express opinions and unfortunately, this can sometimes lead to online bullying. As a coach, you can guide your athletes in managing and overcoming the negative effects of online harassment. Here are a few actionable strategies student-athletes can use to navigate this challenging experience:

1. Validate Their Feelings
   Always acknowledge the emotional toll a loss can have on your athletes. Whether they were directly blamed for the defeat or just feel the weight of the loss, their feelings are valid. Encourage open communication and ensure they know it's okay to feel upset, frustrated, or angry. Validating their emotions can help them feel heard and less isolated.
2. Encourage Positive Self-Talk
   Online bullying can amplify self doubt and insecurity. Remind your athletes to refocus on their strengths and past successes, both on and off the field. One loss doesn't define their abilities or their future. Teaching them how to replace negative thoughts with positive affirmations can empower them to rise above hurtful online interactions.
3. Set Boundaries with Social Media
   Student-athletes may feel tempted to check social media after a loss, yet this often leads to more pain. Advise them to take a temporary break or adjust their privacy settings to limit exposure to negativity. This pause allows them time to self regulate their emotions. Encourage them to unfollow or block toxic accounts that contribute to their distress. It might also be helpful to establish a team policy or personal boundary that discourages engaging with online critics this works best when there's buy in from team leaders.
4. Offer Support Networks
   The emotional impact of online bullying can be reduced when athletes have a strong support system. Make sure your athletes know they have people to turn to, whether it's teammates, friends, family, or a counselor. Encouraging peer support within the team fosters a sense of community and reminds athletes they're not alone in their struggles.
5. Teach Resilience and Digital Literacy
   Resilience rules the day. Equip your athletes with the tools to build mental strength in the face of online negativity. This includes understanding that criticism is often a reflection of others' opinions not objective truth. Remind them that it's easy to be a critical outsider; it's much harder to be in the ring doing the work. Provide resources on digital literacy and online safety, and teach them how to manage their online presence and respond to trolls without escalating conflict.
6. Report and Block
   It's crucial that athletes know when and how to report online bullying. Most social media platforms have mechanisms to report harassment, and it's important they feel empowered to use them. Remind your athletes that blocking toxic individuals is a form of self care and that their mental health should always be a priority. Open communication with the coach about these issues is also key.

Losses can sting, but they hurt even more when compounded by online bullying. With the right tools and support, student-athletes can successfully navigate this challenge. As a coach, your role is to provide a safe space for emotional expression, share effective strategies for handling online negativity, and guide them in building resilience both on and off the field. It may not be realistic to eliminate negativity online, but with your help, they can overcome emotional hurdles and emerge stronger, ready for the next challenge.

By: Julie Hatfield-Still

Provided By: Beyond The Game Alliance

Emotional intelligence (EQ) is a cornerstone of effective coaching. It directly influences a coach's ability to manage emotions under pressure, resolve conflicts, and foster an environment of trust and respect. Research by Daniel Goleman (1995) identifies five core components of EQ: self-awareness, self-regulation, motivation, empathy, and social skills. Coaches with high emotional intelligence not only build stronger teams but also enhance athlete performance by modeling composure, resilience, and effective communication. This article explores four key aspects of emotional intelligence that every coach must master.

Recognizing and Managing Your Emotions

A coach's emotional state directly impacts the athletes they lead. Studies in sports psychology highlight the phenomenon of emotional contagion, where athletes unconsciously mirror the emotional states of their coaches (Totterdell, 2000). When a coach exhibits frustration, anxiety, or stress, athletes are more likely to experience the same-potentially hindering performance and team morale. Conversely, a coach who maintains composure and models emotional regulation fosters a more resilient and focused team.

Self-awareness is the foundation of emotional intelligence. It requires an honest assessment of one's emotional triggers-whether it's a tough loss, a disrespectful athlete, or an over-involved parent. Research suggests that naming emotions activates the brain's prefrontal cortex, which helps regulate impulses and prevent emotional hijacking (Lieberman et al., 2007). Techniques such as mindfulness, journaling, and self-reflection can help coaches recognize patterns in their emotional responses and develop strategies to manage them effectively.

Self-regulation follows self-awareness and is the ability to control emotional impulses rather than react impulsively. Neurobiological studies indicate that deep breathing exercises, such as diaphragmatic breathing, activate the parasympathetic nervous system, reducing stress hormones like cortisol and preventing reactive behavior (Ma et al., 2017). Coaches who pause and regulate their emotions before responding to challenges create a more stable and psychologically safe environment for their athletes.

Navigating Conflict with Athletes, Parents, and Staff

Conflict is inevitable in coaching-whether it involves addressing an athlete's lack of effort, managing difficult parents, or resolving disagreements with staff. Research on conflict resolution suggests that successful leaders employ a blend of emotional intelligence and communication strategies to de-escalate tension and foster collaboration (Goleman, Boyatzis, & McKee, 2013).

One critical skill in conflict resolution is emotional detachment-not in a way that makes a coach apathetic, but in a way that allows for objective problem-solving rather than emotionally driven reactions. Studies show that individuals who separate their emotions from conflict are more likely to reach constructive resolutions rather than escalate tensions (Hess & Bacigalupo, 2013). This requires self-regulation, perspective-taking, and an ability to shift from reactionary emotions to problem-solving mode.

For conflicts with athletes, a key strategy is curious questioning. Instead of accusing an athlete of having a bad attitude, asking, "What's going on today? I noticed you seem frustrated," opens the door for dialogue rather than defensiveness. For parental conflicts, framing conversations with shared goals-"I know we both want what's best for your child. Let's talk about what that looks like"-can reduce combative interactions. When navigating disagreements with staff, research supports collaborative problem-solving, where both parties feel heard and solutions are mutually agreed upon rather than imposed (Stone, Patton, & Heen, 2010).

Building Trust and Credibility Through Self-Awareness

Trust is the currency of coaching. Without it, athletes hesitate to buy into coaching strategies, and team culture suffers. Neuroscientific studies reveal that oxytocin, a neuropeptide linked to bonding and cooperation, is released when people feel psychologically safe in relationships (Zak, 2012). This reinforces the idea that trust is not built through authority alone but through consistency, authenticity, and emotional intelligence.

Self-awareness is at the heart of building trust. Coaches who acknowledge their own biases, strengths, and limitations are better equipped to lead without letting ego, frustration, or unconscious biases interfere with decision-making. Athletes respect a coach who can admit mistakes, take responsibility, and demonstrate humility (Brown, 2018).

Authenticity also plays a significant role in credibility. Research on leadership effectiveness highlights that athletes respond more positively to coaches who are transparent about their values and emotions, rather than those who suppress their humanity (George, 2003). This doesn't mean oversharing personal struggles, but rather showing up as a real person-not just an authority figure. For example, a coach openly addressing emotions in a constructive way-"I'm frustrated by how we're approaching this drill, but I want us to work together to fix it" models authenticity and emotional intelligence.

Staying Composed Under Pressure

Pressure is an inherent part of coaching-whether it's a high-stakes game, handling athlete setbacks, or making split-second decisions under scrutiny. The ability to remain calm and composed during these moments is a defining trait of great coaching. Sports psychology research has shown that a coach's ability to regulate their stress levels directly influences athlete confidence and performance (Hanin, 2000).

One effective way to stay composed under pressure is through cognitive reframing, a strategy grounded in neuroscience that involves shifting one's perspective on a stressful situation. Instead of viewing a tough game as a potential failure, reframing it as an opportunity to test resilience changes the brain's response to stress (Gross, 2002). Studies on elite athletes reveal that those who engage in reframing techniques show lower levels of stress-related hormones and higher levels of focus (Jones, 2002).

Another scientifically backed technique is breath control training, used by Navy SEALs, elite athletes, and high-performance leaders. Box breathing-a method where one inhales for four seconds, holds for four, exhales for four, and holds for four-triggers the body's relaxation response, reducing physiological stress reactions (Sullivan & Carhart-Harris, 2018). Coaches who incorporate breath control into their own routines can model it for athletes, fostering a culture of emotional regulation.

Finally, preparation and visualization play a significant role in staying composed. Research in sports psychology supports the idea that mental rehearsal reduces performance anxiety. A coach who visualizes high-pressure scenarios and how they will calmly navigate them strengthens neural pathways associated with confidence and poise (Vealey & Chase, 2008).

Mastering emotional intelligence is not about suppressing emotions; it's about recognizing them, understanding their impact, and responding in ways that enhance leadership and athlete development. By improving emotional awareness, conflict resolution, self-regulation, and trust-building, coaches can elevate both their own performance and that of their athletes.

Written by Coach Julie Hatfield-Still

Julie Hatfield-Still is an entrepreneur, coach, author, and advocate for empowering athletes to unlock their full potential in their game and beyond their game. With a passion for developing mental strength and resilience, Julie has authored books for Female Athletes and Mental Strength in Softball and Soccer.

She is also the Founder and President of Beyond The Game Alliance. This non-profit organization provides holistic and proactive workshops in Nutrition, Mental Strength & Sports Psychology, Injury Resilience, Recovery, Career Development, and more. Beyond The Game Alliance comes alongside Teams, Schools, and Sports Organizations to support their athletes' needs by providing awareness, access, and affordability for services and coaching for athletes. When Julie isn’t writing, running a non-profit, or coaching, she’s most importantly dedicated to educating her two sons and creating a simple life with her family.

Learn more about Beyond The Game Alliance at BeyondTheGameAlliance.org or Follow Us on Social Media (Facebook and Instagram).

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By: Tommy Brown

Provided by: One Heartbeat

I believe in mental toughness. It's what I do for a living teaching teams, leaders, and individuals how to push through obstacles, develop resilience, and refuse to quit when things get hard.

And let's be honest: people need to be tougher. Myself included. We live in a world where too many give up at the first sign of adversity. Grit matters. Perseverance matters. Without them, no one achieves anything worthwhile.

But here's the problem: you can be mentally tough without being mentally healthy.
Pushing through pain, suffering in silence, and pretending everything is fine that's not toughness. That's denial. And denial doesn't just hurt you; it can cost you everything.

When Grit Becomes Dangerous

Mental toughness has been glorified for years. We celebrate the athlete who plays through injury, the executive who burns the midnight oil, and the coach who never lets emotions show. But what happens when toughness becomes a mask?

I'll never forget one of my toughest basketball players an All-American. When he played for me, he was the last person I would have ever expected to struggle with mental health. He was confident, relentless, and mentally tough in every way. But after his playing days were over, he faced battles that no one saw coming.

The same thing happened to Michael Phelps. The most decorated Olympian of all time the very definition of grit and perseverance struggled with depression and suicidal thoughts. He had spent his whole life mastering physical and mental toughness, yet after the 2012 Olympics, he found himself in a dark place, questioning whether life was worth living.

If someone as mentally tough as Michael Phelps can struggle, what does that tell us? It tells us that toughness alone isn't enough.

Mental Toughness and Mental Health Are Not Opposites - They Are Partners

Success isn't about choosing one or the other; it's about knowing when to flip the switch.

1. Grit is essential. It pushes us through the hard days, helps us fight for our dreams, and makes sure we don't quit when things get uncomfortable.
2. But toughness without self-awareness is reckless. The strongest people aren't the ones who pretend everything is fine they're the ones who know when to reach out for help.

Take Grundy, my rescue pitbull. He survived alone in the woods for over a year, enduring starvation, predators, and injury. His grit kept him alive. But when we brought him home, he was still trapped in survival mode. Toughness had helped him endure, but healing required something else trust, care, and support.

We're the same way. Grit can get us through the storm, but we can't thrive if we never let ourselves recover.

Building a Culture of Mental Toughness AND Mental Health

So how do we get this right? How do we create a mindset that values toughness while also recognizing when help is needed?

1. Redefine Strength
   Strength isn't just pushing through it's also knowing when to take a step back and get help. The toughest leaders, athletes, and professionals understand this.
2. Check on Your "Strong" People
   The ones who seem the toughest are often carrying the heaviest loads. Ask. Listen. Let them know they don't have to carry it alone.
3. Encourage Grit But Not at the Expense of Well-Being
   Great teams, families, and businesses thrive when they expect toughness but also create space for honesty and support. High standards and high empathy can coexist.
4. Normalize Seeking Help
   Michael Phelps didn't find healing by ignoring his struggles. He found it by getting help, opening up, and realizing he wasn't alone. That's real strength.

The Real Test of Mental Toughness

Grit matters. I believe that with all my heart. But grit without mental health is a ticking time bomb. We have to stop acting like toughness and vulnerability are enemies. The greatest athletes, leaders, and warriors in history have all known when to fight through and when to seek help.

So ask yourself:

• Where do you need to push harder?
• Where do you need to stop pretending everything is fine and get support?

About the Author

Tommy Brown is a speaker, coach, and the founder of One Heartbeat, where he helps teams, businesses, and athletes develop the mental toughness to perform at the highest level without sacrificing their well-being. A former college basketball coach, Tommy has spent years studying grit, leadership, and team culture, working with championship-winning programs and corporate leaders.

His upcoming book, Sadie and Grundy: Unleashing the Power of Grit and Empathy in Life and Leadership, explores the balance between resilience and compassion through the story of his two dogs Grundy, a rescue pitbull who survived alone in the woods for over a year, and Sadie, a Goldendoodle whose unwavering empathy saved him in return.

Tommy also leads The Be Grundy Foundation, which fosters resilience in individuals particularly female athletes while supporting dog rescue efforts.

For speaking engagements, workshops, or more on mental toughness and leadership, visit OneHeartbeatWarriors.com, or connect with Tommy at tbrown@oneheartbeatwarriors.com.